I’ve been having some personal time-out to recalibrate and get back on track again!! I’ve even taken a break from social media and, I have to say, I feel much better for it. Taking time-out and hibernating is something I do often to escape the ‘noise’ of Life. It’s what I need at a deep Soul level. It helps me re-centre myself and get more grounded for Life’s journey.
To put things into perspective and to speak honestly and openly about my natural tendency to shut myself away, I’ve been feeling quite overwhelmed since my book was published in late July.
If you’ve been following my intermittent Facebook posts, you’ll know that I consider my book as a living entity. She has her own Mauri (life force energy), Hinengaro (consciousness), Mana (self-governance and self-determination, strength and power) and Wairua (Spiritual essence). She will always be energetically connected to me and my whanau (family) because she carries our Wairua in her chapters – past, present and future.
She was conceived of my maiden and mother years and experiences and born of my ever-evolving matriarchal Knowledge and Wisdom. Her gestation period was both cathartic and therapeutic, and enabled me to see how far I’ve come in Life and, more particularly, how my Spiritual, physical, mental and emotional growth and development have evolved over time. It was also an opportunity to identify and fully embrace the multi-dimensional aspects of who “I Am”. The writing and gestation period was very much a Heart-centered mission.
Then came the editing and publishing process. Another opportunity to consolidate and absorb her content and prepare her for delivery into this physical world. The editing and publishing process was primarily a Mind-centred mission.
The plans I had for promoting and marketing her have not eventuated as fully or as quickly as I had intended because I’ve often felt conflicted between the intentions of my Heart and the logic of my Mind. And this conflict has kept me in a state of constant ‘preparation’ – it’s like being on a firing range, totally aware of the target and weapons (or tools) I need, setting my sights … and constantly taking ‘aim’ but never actually firing a shot!! I know in my Mind that I have to take the shot to see where it lands on the target, and from there I will learn what I have to do to improve my ‘aim’. The important thing is to actually take the shot! Right?
So why am I constantly aiming .. and never taking a shot?
What has become clear to me in the post-publishing process, is that I have strayed so far away from everything that I wrote about or promoted and encouraged in my book!! I have become so disconnected from Source (my Higher Self) and my sacred space of Mana Wahine. And this is the main ‘cause’ of my internal conflict and my constant state of ‘preparation’.
And this is why I take time-out to escape from the noise, to just be silent. And from the silence comes clarity again – through learning again to hear my own truth, and my inner voice of wisdom and guidance.
Tuning in to the Whispers of the Soul.
Mauri Ora .. E xx